"F*@k Me Like You Hate Me!": Feminist Defenses of Submissive Sex

Voiceover

Presenter(s)

Kaya Shafer

Abstract or Description

Submissive sex usually entails acts like being choked, hit, tied up, or verbally degraded by a partner. When women engage in submissive sex with a male partner, they can potentially simulate patriarchal gender roles and power dynamics. The intersections between kink and feminism have existed throughout history, but how? I wanted to understand if, and if so, how women upheld their feminist values while engaging in submissive sex. To do this, I interviewed nine women around Lawrence about their experiences as feminists who have submissive sexual tendencies. I found that instead of having guilt or shame around the intersection of their values and kinks, these women actually used their feminism to justify their sexually submissive tendencies. In this presentation, I will be examining how engaging in submissive sex was an opportunity for women to embrace parts of their identity that they normally didn’t outside of sexual situations. Instead of feeling discomfort around recreating patriarchal gender roles, these women leaned into their femininity while being submissive and some even saw submissive sex as a ‘treat’ or a chance to relax. Not only are these identities and their intersections important to understand and give a voice to, but hearing from women first hand about how they deal with shame and guilt can be useful for others who may be struggling to navigate their sexual interests and personal values at the same time.

Mentor

Stacey Vanderhurst