Searching

Voiceover

Presenter(s)

Gabrielle Birney

Abstract or Description

Gabrielle Birney

Searching, 2022

Archival Pigment Prints

Realism is a performance. 

Searching, is an exploration into the internal state of my father who died in 2015. My father continually struggled with his mental and physical health, which impacted my family’s economic stability. He also struggled to maintain a steady job throughout his lifetime, always switching careers. The abandoned medical facility that I use as a setting for my photographs hearkens back to my fathers continuous need for medical attention. That building's abandonment alludes to the mental isolation he experienced. My model for this series of photographs is my husband, who is working as a metaphorical stand-in for my father, performing the internal struggles of my father. 

This project delves into economic loss, isolation, loss of manhood. I analyze the mental state of my father being cast as the villain, but also locate his internal sadness. My father was always searching, searching for a better life for himself and his family, searching for a more fulfilling job, searching for his own internal happiness, and searching for love and support. As an adult, I’ve found myself on this same search.

By making these photographs, I am able to understand now just how isolated and lonely my father really felt during his life. For once, I was able to find the control my father had always been chasing. This, too, gave me the control I have been searching for.

Mentor

Lilly McElroy